


The Beauty in Aging

by prettyboypj



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Angst, Childhood, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Growing Up Together, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-25 13:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4961716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyboypj/pseuds/prettyboypj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story that follows two boys, Dan and Phil, throughout their entire life as they fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beauty in Aging

**Author's Note:**

> There is a TW, for death, homophobia, and bullying, so beware of that.
> 
> Also my beta bro (glitterrgoth) helped me out a ton!!
> 
> He suggested I explain A Levels a bit. So basically you're graded from A* to E (or U, which is failing) and to get into a nice University you need your grades to be mostly A, B, and C's. They work like finals in the USA!

Dan is eight when he meets Phil amongst the playground at school. Phil is tucked away in a corner of the yard, watching the birds fly by. He walks up to him and taps him on the shoulder, shocking Phil.

"You scared me." Phil states as he turns to face Dan. Dan makes up his mind about Phil quickly. He decides Phil is smart, and he already knows Phil is quiet.

"Yeah." Dan says plainly, unable to think of anything to say.

"Yeah." Phil repeats. Dan stares at him dumbly for a moment before Phil turns to look back at the sky.

Dan finds himself looking up too.

* * *

 

When Phil is twelve he follows Dan into the woods to do something they both know is absolutely stupid. Dan had been teased by some boys earlier that day, and it wasn't the first time either. They didn't really know what they were saying, they just spewed what they heard older boys say. It always hurt Dan, but it had hurt Phil even more. No one even had to say anything to him directly, he just felt for Dan.

Usually Dan shrugged it off, but today was different. A boy from the group had come up to him after school and shoved him, hard. Dan fell to the ground, a deep cut from where his knee had scraped the cement already forming. He stood back up in a rage, blood trickling down his leg.

"Why did you do that?" Dan yelled. The boy, whose name was Asher, just snickered at him. Asher turned away and walked back to his friends, receiving several hollers and a few highfives.

"Dan," Phil said quietly, grabbing his arm in an attempt to hold him back.

"Homos!" An older guy standing next to Asher shouted. Phil felt his cheeks burn as Dan ripped his arm away from Phil's grasp. Dan turned away from the group.

"Come on Phil," Dan grumbled, staring at the ground. "Lets just go home."

"If you want a real fight, you'll meet us at the woods by town at seven tonight!" One of them shouts, followed by laughter. Neither of them reply, but instead keep walking away. "See you then, gaylords!"

Phil sniffled as a tear fell from his eyes, and he went to wipe it away. He's angry at himself for being a baby about this, while Dan was acting mature. Dan walked very stiffly, an angry expression on his face.

"Dan," Phil said in a low voice. "Why are they so mean to us?"

"Dunno." Dan said bluntly, kicking at a stone laying on the pavement.

"They always call us gay." Phil mumbled. "I mean, so what if we were." Phil could feel more tears well up in his eyes and he let them fall freely, choking out a sob.

"We're going tonight." Dan said sternly, his voice getting dangerously close to cracking. Something about Phil crying had struck him the wrong way.

* * *

Dan is fourteen when he has his first sip of alcohol at Phil's house. He spits it out seconds afterwards, wiping off his tongue and making a disgusted face.

"That's awful!" Dan exclaims, causing Phil to burst out in laughter. Phil clenches his stomach as he doubles over laughing, tears spilling out of his eyes. This time, the tears are good ones.

They hear the front door's lock jiggle, and they know that Phil's mom is about to come in the house. Phil dashes to the liquor cabinet, storing the bottle back in it's spot with seconds to spare. Phil's mom raises her eyebrow at the two boys, panting and leaning over the kitchen counter, laughing uncontrollably. She asks them 'what's so funny' and Phil waves it away while Dan makes a gagging noise. It only causes Phil to laugh harder, and at this point he's afraid he's going to pass out.

* * *

It's midnight and Phil is sixteen. It's not a big deal and he doesn't have much of a celebration. Dan is staying the night at his house, and he had started whooping and hollering once the clock struck midnight. Phil tackled him to the floor and put his palm over Dan's mouth in an attempt to quiet him. Dan licked Phil's hand, giving him a spare moment to flip Phil over, gaining control.

Dan stuck his tongue out like a three year old, his own way of saying 'haha, I win', straddling Phil. Phil propped himself up on his elbows, looking into Dan's eyes. Their gaze was so intense, and Dan felt a feeling he had never felt before swell in his chest. He ached to ignite something, _anything_. He was relieved when Phil leaned in.

* * *

Dan is fifteen when he has his first kiss. Phil is sixteen when he has his. They just so happen to have their first kisses at the same time.

* * *

Phil is still sixteen and this time, Dan is too. It's a few weeks into summer break now. Dan presses his lips lightly to the base of Phil's neck and Phil giggles at the wet touch.

"Dan?" Phil whispers. Dan hums against his neck in response. "I'm in love with you."

Dan pulls away to look Phil in the eyes. They sit like this for a moment, a content silence. He knows Phil means it with all of his heart.

"I'm in love with you too, Phil." Dan says quietly, pulling Phil into his arms. Phil smiles into Dan's chest, a warm fuzzy feeling in his heart.

That's because he knows Dan means it too.

* * *

Dan's heart aches because Phil is almost seventeen and that means he's almost been with Phil for a year. Nothing is wrong when they're together. The word soulmate had no meaning before they met.

It's dusk and they're hand in hand, walking together through a trail in the woods. They each have one earbud in, soft love songs whispering in their ears. The sun is setting in the distance but it still manages to peek through the trees, covering everything around them in a dewy orange glow.

Phil thinks this moment in perfect, but he has to do the classic Phil thing to do. He misses a step and his foot catches a tree root, sending him and Dan tumbling to the ground. Dirt rises up around them as they collapse in a fit of giggles, hands still fit together. Phil doesn't want to get up and Dan doesn't seem to either, so they just lay there. The laughter dies down and Dan pulls Phil in close to him, holding him as tight as possible.

"I never want to leave here." Phil breaks the quiet spell. "I never want to leave you. I don't want to leave this town, I don't want to ever be away from you. I love you, I love you, I love you." Phil raises his voice on the 'I love you's', letting out a soft cry. It isn't out of sadness, anger, or fear, it's just because. Dan kisses the side of his cheek, wiping away the tears bubbling in Phil's eyes.

"Don't worry," Dan squeezes Phil's hand. "You don't ever have to."

* * *

"Are you sure?" Dan says at seventeen. Phil nods, sliding his shirt over his head as quickly as possible. Dan's eyes trace Phil's body, taking in as much as he can before his instincts take over. Phil's head tilts back and his lips form an O. He can't tell you how long he has been waiting for this.

* * *

Phil is eighteen and College is ending too quickly. He's studying for one of the last times at this school, and he shouldn't care at all, but he does. It's early in the morning, way before classes, and he's sat in the library flipping through textbooks. He lets himself cry all over them, making some sad attempt at convincing himself it's a way of leaving his mark. Him and Dan are graduating soon, then they'll be off to Uni. Both of them want to study in Manchester, but the anxiety of A-Levels are killing them. They had sent in their applications together, kissing each one for good luck.

Phil had no idea what he'd do if they didn't go to University together. He couldn't imagine a house with anyone else but Dan. He could never see anyone but Dan in his sheets, hair ruffled up and sheets tangled in his legs. There was no one he'd rather get coffee with late at night, no one he wanted to share his favorite songs with, no one to watch movies with when he couldn't sleep. Him and Dan we're like one person, and it was terrifying.

* * *

"I still love you, no matter what the envelope says." A nervous eighteen year old Dan says, fidgeting with the letter in his hand. Inside are Phil's results and the deciding factor on if he gets into the University of Manchester. Likewise, Phil had his letter. Dan can feel his throat going dry.

"I'll," Phil takes a deep breath. "Open yours first." Dan nods. He looks to Phil's hands, which are visibly shaking as he flips the envelope over. They had waited until they went to their favorite spot in the forest to see their results. Dan had brought along a bottle of vodka which would come in handy no matter what they got.

Phil slipped his fingers under the flap, sliding them across the edge. The folded paper was tucked inside and he anxiously pulled it out. Phil unfolded it slowly, he could feel Dan's eyes boring into him. He quickly scanned it before seeing what Dan had gotten. He beamed, first out of relief and then out of pride.

"Fuck, Dan! AABB!" Phil laughed, a little bubbly giggle, as he climbed over to Dan and kissed him deeply. Dan had a look of shock on his face and was only pulled out of the trance when Phil's lips met his.

"Okay, okay!" Dan pulled Phil away. "Easy boy, that's enough." He smirked as Phil blushed and crawled off of him.

"I was excited," Phil mumbled. "Sorry."

"Hey," Dan cupped Phil's face in his hands. "It's okay. Now yours."

This time opening the letter went much faster. Dan was an excited kind of anxious and he believed in his boyfriend.

"Yes!" Dan yelled, jumping up to his feet. "Fuck yes, we're going to Manchester!"

Phil grabbed the letter from Dan and looked to the sheet. He had gotten AAC, which was still really good. The C was in French anyway. He pulled Dan as tightly as possible, kissing his neck over and over. They did it, now they'd get to spend all of University together.

* * *

Phil is nineteen and him and Dan are moving into their apartment on campus. It's small, sure, and not exactly in their dream area, but they can afford it and they're together. That's what matters. He's in love, completely and utterly, and nothing else really seems to matter. Classes won't start for a few weeks, but they wanted to be early to get settled into their new home.

"Phil?" Dan called out from the living room. Phil walks in to see him sat on the floor, flipping through a paper booklet.

"Yeah?" Phil replies, sitting down next to him on the ground. Dan is trying to set up their multiple gaming systems (pooled together from both homes) with their tv. The floor is lined with games, handbooks, and wires. A confused Dan is sat in the middle of all of it, unable to find anything.

"How the fucking fuck do I do this?" Dan laughs, handing Phil the current manual. Phil reads it over once, then again, the once more. He can't make anything of it, or the awfully drawn diagrams pictured.

"No clue Bear." Phil said, looking around. He picked up another and flips through that, only to have the same result. Dan lets out a long whine and slides back against the wall, pouting.

"I just wanted to play some Skyrim." Dan huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Phil turns to him and gives him a sheepish smile. There isn't much to do in the house, it's their first week and most of the things haven't arrived. Ikea had mixed up half their orders and they had to send the majority of it back. So far they had a microwave, (broken) tv, a bed, and stools for their counter.

"Want to go out?" Phil asked. Dan nodded. "Where to?"

"I dunno, can we get shakes?" Dan uncrossed his arms and crawled over to where Phil was, laying his head in his lap.

"Yeah, pretty sure I saw a place over in Arndale Shopping Centre. Shakeaway? I'll google it." Phil pulled out his phone, checking the hours. He was relieved to see it was open. "Alright Danny boy, get up."

* * *

Dan is twenty, it's his birthday actually, and he's walking around the streets of Manchester with his boyfriend. Him and Phil have been in University for a year and a half now, and winter was quickly coming to a close. Dan had just gotten off of work, a little earlier than he should have, because Phil stopped by and asked him to leave. Dan loved his job, working at a cozy bookshop off one of the main streets, but he loved Phil way, way more. He agreed and apologized to his co-workers taking Phil's hand as they left.

Dan left Phil drag him as he ran down one of the quieter roads in the area.

"Phil!" Dan laughed, tripping over a hunk of snow still frozen to the sidewalk. "Slow down, you're gonna kill me!"

Phil stumbled to a stop and turned to face Dan, his eyes were sparkling and he gave him a lopsided smile.

"I love you." Phil said almost in awe. Dan smiled, and quickly cupped Phil's face in his hands. He leaned in and kissed him, gently and slowly. They moved in rhythm together in the freezing cold, completely blocking out the world around them. After a moment they broke apart, Phil quietly gasping and pulling Dan in for a hug, rocking him back and forth.

"Now let's go again." Phil giggled, grabbing Dan's hand before taking off again. They kept running until they burst off the side road onto a main one, with people bustling around the pavement. Phil slowed his run into a walk suddenly, Dan tumbling into him, nearly knocking them both to the ground.

"Oof!" Dan cried out with a chuckle as he regained his balance. Phil turned to grin at him and Dan bopped his nose, sticking out his tongue.

Dan trailed behind Phil as he weaved through the crowd. He still hadn't been told where they were going, but he had an idea.

"Starbucks!" Phil said excitedly as they stopped in front of their favorite one. Dan smiled, he knew it.

Dan sat down on one of the sofas as Phil went to order for the both of them, they knew each other's drinks by heart. A few minutes later Phil joined him, handing him a warm cup. He sipped it and sighed contently.

"Thank you." Dan smiled one of those dreamy smiles that Phil couldn't resist. Phil beamed, proud to call Dan his.

"Anything for you," Phil winked. "My prince."

* * *

Phil is twenty one, and he's really, really in love with Dan. It's been a while now, over four years. They're still young, but Phil knows that Dan is the one. He goes out to the shops on a quest to find the perfect ring while Dan is away. Dan is back home, visiting his parents. Phil had wanted to go with him, but he had too much work to do so he had stayed behind. He missed Dan like crazy, but also silently thanked him for giving Phil some time to do this in secret. Dan would be home in two days, and that's when Phil would ask him. The four biggest words you could ever say.

Will you marry me?

* * *

Dan is on his way home, he had visited his parents as a late twentieth birthday get together, a month or two late of course, but it was the earliest he could get there. The train couldn't be any slower if it tried. He couldn't wait to jump into Phil's arms and have Phil just hold him. The week apart had been so difficult, and Dan couldn't wait to make up all the cuddles they had missed. He looked at the clock on his phone, three hours left.

He barely had a signal, so he couldn't text Phil during the ride. Instead he listened to Muse and looked out the window, playing his favorite moments of his life over and over in his head. He smiled to himself as he realized most of them were with Phil. Thinking about how far they'd made it together brought him to tears, and he self conciously tried to wipe them away. He looked around, luckily no one had noticed him sniffling.

* * *

It's three hours later, finally, and the train is slowing down as it pulls into the station. Dan presses his face up to the window, excitedly looking around for Phil. He spots him nervously pacing around in a dark blue plaid shirt and jeans. He looks nervous and Dan's face instantly falls. What if he's about to break up with him? He panics before calming himself down, Dan almost always overreacts. Dan keeps his eye on Phil as the train stops completely, and Phil's face lights up. Dan smiles again, his fear going away. He grabs his suitcase from the compartment above and steps in front of the door. It opens, almost in slow motion, and his eye's lock with Phil's. He runs out, suitcase flailing behind him, towards Phil. As he reaches him he drops the handle and jumps into Phil's arms, both of them stumbling backwards.

Dan feels childish tears pool up in his eyes, but he's so happy. A week is a long time when you haven't been without each other for more than a day since you moved in. He kisses Phil's neck and cheek over and over before stepping back down to the ground. Phil is smiling as wide as possible and leans in for a passionate kiss. Dan lets himself melt into Phil's touch, placing his hands on his hips. Everything feels complete again. Phil breaks away and looks at Dan once more before taking a deep sigh and nervously stepping back.

"Daniel James Howell, good God, Dan." Phil's eyes start to water with joy as he speaks. People in the station are starting to look at them, mostly good looks, but looks none the less. "I love you, I've loved you for so long, and I want to love you forever. Please let me do that, be with you, until you die."

"Dan," Phil gets down on one knee, and Dan gasps. "Will you marry me?" He pulls out a sleek box and pops it open, to reveal a glimmering ring.

"Oh my god," Dan starts to full on cry. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes!"

Phil stands up and kisses Dan once more, laughing into their kiss. The small gathering of people around them clap politely, and Phil feels himself glow with pride. He breaks away and holds both of Dan's hands in his and turns to the nearest women.

"This, this is my fiance!" Phil shouts happily. She smiles back, a genuine one, and nods.

"Congratulations you two." She says. Phil laughs again, the feeling right now is surreal. He wishes it could last forever.

* * *

"Are you sure you can't get the day off?" A sleepy twenty one year old Dan asks. Phil walks into the kitchen, slipping on his jacket and opening the fridge.

"Nope, we're already taking all of next week off." Phil said, grabbing a yogurt cup and shutting the door. "For our wedding, of course."

Dan smiles as Phil comes over and kisses the top of his head. He looks up and frowns when Phil turns around and heads towards the door.

"Phil!" Dan pulls out the last L sound, pouting.

"I've got to Dan! I love you!" Phil shouts, opening the front door to their apartment.

"Wait, wait!" Dan shouts, standing up from his spot on the couch and walking over to Phil. He pulls Phil in close and kisses him, pushing him up against the door. His hands race up to Phil's hair, dragging through it as sounds emerge from Phil's throat. Dan pulls away, gasping and smirking.

"There, you've got nice sex hair for work." Dan laughed and Phil rolled his eye's fondly and worked his hands through his hair, pointlessly tried to flatten it out. "I love you, so, so much. Have a good day, okay?" Phil nodded and kissed Dan on the cheek before leaving him alone.

Dan sighed and plopped back down on the couch, opening up his laptop. He had at least six hours to kill before Phil would be home. Tonight they were going out for dinner then to a movie. It had been way too long since their last date night out, and Dan was really excited. It'd be one of the last dates as just boyfriends, soon they'd be husbands.

Husbands, Dan loved the sound of that. Some day, once University was finally over, they'd move together to the outskirts of London. They'd have the perfect house, with a small garden out back and a dog. It was everything he had dreamed about, with a boy he was incredibly lucky to have. He honestly couldn't believe his luck. He smiled contently before turning on Netflix and tuning everything else out.

* * *

He had somehow fallen asleep in the middle of the movie, only to be woken by his iPhone ringing. Weird, he thought, Phil should have been home fifteen minutes ago. He answered the unknown caller and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Daniel Howell?" The voice on the phone said.

"Hey, who's this?" Dan asked.

"You know Phil Lester right, it has you under emergency contact."

"Yeah, I fucking know him. What the fuck? What's the emergency?" Dan said anxiously, raising his voice. He could feel his hand start to shake, then his whole body.

"I'm sorry to say this, but Phil Lester's been in an accident. He was hitting crossing the street, they ran a red light and he just happened the be in the street. It, it killed him instantly, a broken spine. I'm really sorry, can you come to the hospital as soon as possible?" Dan felt the world stop, then start spinning unreasonably fast. He choked out a sob and dropped his phone to the ground. He threw his laptop off of his lap and stood up. He ran as fast as he could to him and Phil's room.

He jumped into the bed, pulling the sheets close to him, breathing in Phil's scent. He screamed, a blood curling shriek echoing through the walls of the apartment. This couldn't be happening, it was unreal. Dan didn't even know what to think, so he didn't. He didn't think at all as he screamed and sobbed into the duvet. He didn't think when he got up and ran back into the living room, to check and see if the last call was in his phone, because he really couldn't believe it was real. It was, and when he saw it again he threw his phone as hard as he could against the wall, watching it shatter. He screamed out again, dropping to his knees on the floor and pounding on the ground.

His voice was giving out quickly and his throat was rough, but he couldn't stop himself. He muffled the angry yells into a pillow from the couch, tears running hot and heavy. His whole body is shuttering and he can't move or control himself. Shivers shook through him as he reminded himself to breathe deeply. After thirty minutes of this, he stood up and looked out the window, over the city.

His mind replayed every single thing he had done with Phil, over and over and over. He had emptied himself of every single tear, every sob, every scream. He was completely done, with everything. Now all he felt was dumb. He stood there, still shaking, as he thought about what to do now. He couldn't go to the hospital tonight, he couldn't go see Phil's body, sign papers, none of that.

He walked back to their bedroom and sat on the bed, smoothing down the sheets that had been pushed around during his episode. He laid down, unable to close his eyes in fear that they'd never open again. One last tear slipped out of his eye, leaving a wet trail down his cheek. He didn't bother to wipe it away. He could hear his phone ringing in the other room, probably Phil's parents, or possibly his own. He didn't want to talk to them, he didn't want to talk to anyone but Phil, and he couldn't do that.

"This wasn't supposed to turn out like this." He whispered to himself. He took a long sigh and closed his eyes, feeling everything slip from his grasp.

**Author's Note:**

> You know what they say, it's not a good fic unless you cry writing it! :') Kudos appreciated, but if you comment I'll love you forever! Thank you for reading!!


End file.
